


care (both for self and others)

by moralityism



Series: Sympathetic Deceit Week [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Puns, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Joking References To Cults, Sympathetic Deceit Week, did you guys know "sexy primes" are an actual thing?, i bet logan did, like an actual term for something that happens in math?, sympathetic deceit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 23:18:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15129917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moralityism/pseuds/moralityism
Summary: Virgil does not like his brother’s new friends. Yet. Written for Sympathetic Deceit Week: Friendship Day.





	care (both for self and others)

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Vaguely mentioned manipulative characters, food mentions. Let me know if I miss anything!
> 
> A/N: This is a college AU, where Deceit’s name is written as Dante! Patton’s joke was shamelessly borrowed from a post by @theonlyjelly-iwillput-inmybelly on Tumblr.

“I’m having friends over tomorrow,” Dante tells Virgil over dinner, “so if you need to avoid people, don’t come home.” Virgil grunts in appreciation for the notice but doesn’t comment further.

He admits he’s curious as to who his twin will bring home. Dante spent his high school years changing friend groups as quickly as he changed tastes in fashion and breaking hearts even faster. Eventually, though, people stopped tolerating him, and the resulting isolation made him…well, not much quieter, but calmer. Maybe his new friends will be company Virgil can stand to keep without wanting to tear his hair out.

He decides to be optimistic for once, and makes plans to interrupt Dante’s playdate.

* * *

In retrospect, Virgil supposes it’s only natural that his incorrigible gossip of a brother would attract such characters as Roman Prince and Remy Sanders to their shared apartment. It’s still a shock to his system, however, to come home to the three of them in his living room in face masks, doing each others’ nails and discussing their love lives.

He’s familiar with Roman, of course, although not much more so than “Patton’s less tolerable roommate”. He called the guy “Sir Sing-A-Long” once and it was like he had cursed his entire family lineage. He’s a theatre major for a reason, Virgil thinks. (They don’t get along very well.)

He knows less about Remy, though, besides rumors of his Starbucks addiction and his particular penchant for drama. Probably why he gets along so well with Dante.

All three heads turn in unison upon Virgil’s entrance, and they all sing, “Hi, Virgil,” in perfect unison.

Virgil freezes in the doorway. “Oh,  _that_  Virgil,” Roman says, and if Virgil wasn’t trying to fight the urge to flee immediately he’d tear him apart.

“Deedee’s told us so much about you,” Remy continues, ignoring Roman.

Virgil feels his eye twitch involuntarily. “Deedee,” he repeats blankly.

“Would you like to join us, Virge?” Dante asks, as if he can’t already tell that Virgil would much rather run for the hills. Or…no, wait, there’s that grin of his. He knows perfectly well what he’s doing.

“Come now, Tall, Dark, and Nervous,” Roman adds on, and oh, Virgil is  _so_  going to punch him out later. “I’ve got purple glitter polish.”

Virgil is already backing out the door, phone in hand. “Actually, I have somewhere I need to be, uh, tomorrow, so I’m gonna…go ahead and get going.” He puts his free hand on the doorknob and turns it, stumbling out the doorway. “Maybe next time!” he calls behind him, but before the door shuts they hear him say into the phone, “Patton I need to come over right now immediately.”

Remy pouts at the door. “Aww, and I was so excited to get to know Deedee’s brother…”

Roman snorts. “Believe me, he’s not much for conversation. He’s very rude.”

Dante frowns and sits up straighter in his chair, pulling his left hand away from Roman. “Excuse me. Virgil is very kind. He just…spooks easily.” Roman rolls his eyes, and Dante glares at him.

Remy reaches right in between the two to grab the bottle of top coat, breaking the impending staredown. “I’ll just have to lure him in better next time,” he decides. “Deedee, what’s his Starbucks order?”

“Oh, he doesn’t drink coffee.” Remy puts a manicured hand to his chest as if he’s been personally slighted, so Dante explains further, “He doesn’t do well with caffeine.”

Remy slowly lowers his hand. “But does he like chocolate?”

“Yes?”

“Then I know just what to get him. Don’t doubt my talents,” Remy sniffs.

* * *

Patton beams wide the moment he opens the door, and Virgil feels his day immediately get about five times better. “Hey, Pat,” he says, as Patton pulls him inside.

Once the door shuts, he holds up the plastic bag in his hand. “Wanna explain to me why you had me stop and buy popsicle sticks?”

Patton gleefully takes the bag from him and runs to the kitchen with it. “We’re gonna play a prank on Logan,” he informs Virgil cheerfully, pulling the box out of the bag. “You can go ahead and sit down! I’ll be right there.” Virgil nods and wanders off to the living room, watching as Patton gleefully scatters popsicle sticks across the counter.

True to his word, Patton appears moments later with two soda cans. He hands the grape Fanta to Virgil and plops down next to him on the couch with his own soda. “Did you…did you get the prank all set up?” Virgil asks.

He’s kind of afraid to know what Patton is planning, but Patton doesn’t go into any detail. He just nods with a wide grin and changes the topic. “So what brings you over in such a rush, buddy?”

Virgil pops the soda can open, downs half of it in one go, and immediately regrets it. Patton, for his part, offers Virgil a few sympathetic back pats as he keels over and chokes to death. Once Virgil can breathe again, he sits up and says with all the dignity he no longer has, “I think my brother joined a cult.”

“Oh dear,” Patton says.

“Yeah,” Virgil agrees, “oh dear. I barely managed to escape them myself.”

“Do you need to call the police?” Patton asks. “Were they dangerous? Was there blood?”

Virgil snorts at the idea of calling the police on Roman Prince, but figures that might upset Dante a bit. “Nah, it’s probably not worth all that,” he says, holding his hands up in a pacifying gesture. “They had, like, face masks and stuff, and a lot of it smelled weird, but I don’t think it was dangerous.”

The look on Patton’s face says he begs to differ, but the door opens behind him and the conversation falls away.

“Hi, Logan!” Patton calls, grin firmly back in place. His eyebrows are furrowed in just the way they always are when he’s about to make a particularly terrible pun.

“Hello, Patton. Hello, Virgil.” Logan greets each of them in turn. He doesn’t seem to notice the look on Patton’s face as he sets his backpack down near the doorway.

“Be careful,” Patton warns as Logan heads towards the kitchen. “I was cooking in there earlier, so the counters might be a little sticky.” Virgil covers his face to hide his laughter from Logan and sinks lower on the couch.

“Well, surely you could just wipe it…” Logan’s voice trails off as he enters the kitchen. “Sticky,” he repeats finally. There’s another beat of silence, in which Patton starts giggling. “Oh, I  _hate_  it.”

Patton bursts into full-on laughter and nearly falls off the couch. Virgil weakly reaches an arm out to catch him, but he’s doubled over.

“Virgil, may I move in with you?” Logan asks, abandoning the kitchen completely. “I don’t think I can stand to live here any longer.”

“I dunno, Logan,” Virgil wheezes. He sits up as best he can with Patton still leaning on him. “I just barely escaped today. You sure you can handle it?”

Logan frowns. “What do you mean, escaped?”

“Virgil’s brother joined a cult,” Patton informs him cheerfully.

“Ah.” Logan blinks a couple of times, processing that. “I’m…sorry. That must be difficult.”

Patton perks up. “Would you say it’s a…”

“Don’t…!”

“… _sticky_  situation?” he finishes, pointing double finger guns at Logan. Logan puts his head in his hands and starts muttering a string of prime numbers to calm himself.

* * *

Virgil and Dante sit next to each other on the couch. They’re working simultaneously on papers for different classes (or pretending to, at least; Virgil has Tumblr open and he’s 90% sure his brother is on Instagram). Something catches Virgil’s eye above him, and he glances up to find flecks of light moving back and forth across the ceiling. Dante’s nail polish is reflecting the light.

“Hey,” Virgil starts, “about those two…”

“I’ll be careful,” Dante promises. Of course, he already knows where the conversation is going. “I’m not sixteen anymore.”

Virgil snorts. “Yeah, because nineteen is so much different.”

Dante shoves him jokingly. “No, but seriously. I’ll be fine.” Virgil gives him a dubious look. “I promise.”

Virgil shrugs and goes back to working. In the end, he’ll let Dante do as he pleases. He thinks they’ll just go back to working in silence, but Dante speaks once more.

“Thank you,” he says. Virgil’s head jerks up. Dante isn’t looking at him, but Virgil knows he meant what he said. And he knows that one “thank you” refers to a lot more than just his concern about Roman and Remy dragging him into drama once more.

“What are brothers for?” he replies, leaning on Dante. “You stop me from getting anxious over nothing, and I make sure you’re anxious about everything. We gotta stick together.”

* * *

Two weeks pass in relative peace, and Patton forgets all about Virgil’s brother’s cult incident. He’s cooking pasta, humming along to the Disney music playing from the living room, when he gets the call.

He picks up his phone and holds it against his ear with his shoulder. “Hello?”

“Patton,” Virgil’s voice hisses from the speaker. “They’re back.” He sounds terrified.

Patton immediately turns the stove off and moves the pot to the side. “Who’s back?”

“The people from before. With the masks.” There’s a pause, and his voice gets quieter. “If they find me, I’ll…”

Patton bites his lip, already moving towards the door. “Can you get out without them seeing you?” he asks.

“I’m in my room,” Virgil tells him. “I’m on the third floor, I can’t get out through the window…” He trails off. Patton can hear a muffled voice in the background.

“Hello? Virgil?” He stops in the middle of looking for his car keys, waiting with bated breath. All he can hear is Virgil’s panicked breathing. “Virgil?!”

“They’ve found me,” Virgil whispers, and Patton feels his heart leap into his throat.

“I-I’m on my way,” Patton says, trying to sound reassuring. His voice is shaking. “If you can hold out for just a bit longer…”

“There’s no time,” Virgil interrupts. “It’s too late.”

“Virgil…!”

There’s more voices coming from Virgil’s end now. “Patton,” he says quickly, now at normal volume, “if anything happens to me, remember me for who I was, not what I’ll have become.”

“Vir–”

Patton hears a crash and a scream from Virgil. Then, abruptly, the call ends.

His fingers close around his keys and he rushes for the door.

* * *

Dante holds his hands up in a pacifying motion, giving Virgil a bewildered stare from the doorway. “Why are you screaming?” he asks, bewildered.

Virgil glares at him from his new position on the floor. “I thought you were Remy. Or  _Roman_.”

“They’re not gonna breakinto yourroom, Virge, Jesus,” Dante huffs, crossing his arms. “You alright?”

“What do you want?” Virgil snaps, climbing back onto his bed. He notes that his laptop luckily didn’t fall with him, but it’s a small consolation when he’s trapped in his room.

Dante sighs. “Remy got you a frap.”

“I can’t–”

“He says there’s no caffeine in it,” Dante finishes. Virgil shuts his mouth. “It’s one of the ones that doesn’t actually have coffee.”

“I’m not joining your stupid slumber party,” Virgil warns him.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Dante responds. “But it’s melting out there, so you need to come get it if you want it.”

Virgil gives him a dubious look, but stands and follows him.

* * *

Patton has a spare key to Virgil’s apartment. In case something happens, Virgil had told him. He figures this counts as “something”.

He jams the key into the lock only to find that the door is already unlocked. He’s…not sure that’s a good thing. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, shouting Virgil’s name.

The scene that meets his eyes is not at all what he had been imagining. Virgil is sitting on his couch, petulantly nursing a Starbucks drink while Roman(???) paints his fingernails. Virgil’s brother is sitting next to him, listening to someone Patton doesn’t recognize (who wears sunglasses indoors?) talk animatedly about something on his phone.

“Patton!” Roman cries.

“Run while you still have the chance,” Virgil deadpans, and his brother rolls his eyes.

“Remy, Dante, this is my roommate, Patton,” Roman interrupts, speaking over Virgil.

“We’ve met,” says Virgil’s brother, but the person next to him – Remy – looks up in interest.

“Oh, so you’re the Patton I’ve heard so much about,” Remy coos, lowering his sunglasses to give Patton a once-over. Virgil tenses, but Roman keeps a strong grip on his hand. “I wish I’d known you were coming, I would have gotten you something too!”

Patton stares at them, completely lost. “Virgil said this was a cult,” he tells them, and Virgil winces.

Dante just laughs, however. “Virgil says a lot of things. But even he’s got weaknesses, and Roman has a very nice selection of nail polish.” He turns to Remy, dismissing the whole conversation. “Are you sure about buying coffee for all of us every time?”

“Honey, I get so many loyalty points off’a y’all, you would not even believe,” Remy responds, sliding his sunglasses back up on his face. “It’s not a problem.”

“Patton, come look.” Roman waves Patton over, and he approaches hesitantly, still not sure if he’s being pranked or something.

Virgil looks far away as Roman holds up the nail polish bottle to the light. “Look, it’s got little bats in it and everything! Isn’t it perfect for your dark and stormy night?”

The bats are awfully cute, and so is Virgil’s blushing face. “Oh, I love it,” Patton gushes.

“Perfect enough to lure Virge out of his room,” Dante teases with a grin.

“Please kill me,” Virgil mutters, bright red.

“You should stay, Patton,” Dante repeats. “Really.”

Patton finally plops down on the floor next to Remy, who smiles brightly and makes a grab for Roman’s bag of polishes. “If you’re staying, I might as well do you,” he explains, pulling out a sky blue and holding it up near Patton’s face.

Patton looks around at the gathering. “Now we just need to get Logan here, and we’ll have everybody!”

Roman snorts. “Good luck with that.”

“I don’t know,” Dante muses. “Getting Virgil here was a feat in and of itself. I can’t imagine this person will be much harder.”

“He was desperate to be here a couple weeks ago,” Virgil points out, making direct eye contact with Patton. Patton gasps.

“Are you suggesting I chase him out of the apartment with pranks?”

Virgil hesitates. “Well…I mean…”

“That’s a great idea!” Patton cheers, throwing his hands into the air and nearly knocking Remy backwards. “Oops, sorry!”

“Don’t do anything too dastardly,” Roman warns. “Remember, I live there too.”

“Of course not,” Patton assures him, putting on the mask of a respectable adult for all of two seconds before exclaiming, “Oooh, I’ve got so many ideas!”

* * *

“So?” Dante asks, watching Virgil drum his fingernails on the kitchen counter. “Do they pass?”

Virgil huffs. “If they have their dumb party somewhere else next time. They’re all loud, like you.”

Dante smiles. “Hey, that’s better than I was expecting.” He holds out his hand. “We’ll do it at Roman’s apartment next time. See you there?”

Virgil stares at the yellow glitter for a moment, then slowly takes his hand. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”


End file.
